Tempest of Pathos

bemusedmuse @ 2005-02-18T19:57:00

2005-02-19T00:57:42Z

the sad teen. Everything in life is f*ckin'
miserable. You constantly look over your
shoulder and wonder who is judging you...even
when you are alone. So naturally, you have
become a little paranoid and pessamistic. Your
personality can be one demensional but
confusing. You are constantly bored with life
and wish that something could spice it up. You
have a unique view on life and have identified
the problems with school society (Ex...what
makes popular people, how the student mind
works...) You would rather be alone because you
hate being hurt. You tend to think that no one
understands you, not even your parents /
guardians / friends. But that is just the
opposite! The people who love you want to
help, but they don't know how because they have
a feeling that they will say something wrong
and turn you away. You have to let them know
that you are willing to hear what they have to
say...and it might do some good to listen to
them.

Some fields you might consider going
in when you are older...Judge, author,
songwriter, producer, therapist, psychologist,
philosopher, or forensic scientist. You need a
job where you can express yourself and your
views on life. Or you need a field where you
can judge others and predict what is going on
in others life. Either way... you have the
personality to get you a good job that will
support you throughout life.

bemusedmuse @ 2005-02-07T20:09:00

2005-02-08T01:11:55Z

"The sun is going down as the world falls apart.
Rays of red and gold bath the blood-stained soil,
Blues and purples blanket the soot of bombs,
Black hides the needs of thousands of people.

The moon rises and sets on the eve of destruction.
Pale shades of silver accent the tears of pain,
Yellow reflects the fear of the world,
Black colors the courage of us all.

The sun rises on the day of dissolution.
Pink laughs in the face of the dead emotions,
Orange mimics the face of those deceived,
Red soaks the very land we are buried in."

-Eve And Day (?) By Marie Richards

Dunno what to actually call it yet. Sorry.

bemusedmuse @ 2005-02-05T19:06:00

2005-02-06T00:07:26Z

"Time and again I hear your voice,
Time and again I have the choice,
To sit and dream of you and I,
To remember; don't have to try.

Once in a while, feel deep sorrow,
Knowing I won't see you next tomorrow.
Once in a while, take a deep breath.
I didn't know I had such wealth."

- Combien-De-Fois by Sheila Donovan

Sorry. Had to add it. Kinda fits.

bemusedmuse @ 2005-02-02T18:55:00

2005-02-02T23:56:22Z

Heya everybody. I won't be on for a while for I am losing inspiration and need to take a break. See you all whenever.

Ignorance

2005-01-20T01:53:40Z

"No one knows what it's like
To be the bad man
To be the sad man
Behind blue eyes
And no one knows
What it's like to be hated
To be fated to telling only lies

[Chorus:]
But my dreams they aren't as empty
As my conscience seems to be
I have hours, only lonely
My love is vengeance
That's never free

No one knows what its like
To feel these feelings
Like i do, and i blame you!
No one bites back as hard
On their anger
None of my pain and woe
Can show through

[Chorus]

Discover l.i.m.p. say it [x4]
No one knows what its like
To be mistreated, to be defeated
Behind blue eyes
No one knows how to say
That they're sorry and don't worry
I'm not telling lies

[Chorus]

No one knows what its like
To be the bad man, to be the sad man
Behind blue eyes."

-Behind Blue Eyes by Limp Buscuit

I am gonna kill him. He keeps popping up telling me about stuff I do not care to know about, and then has the nerve to say that I am stalking Ugo. WTF! I don't even hang out or hardly talk to ugo anymore. If staying single is stalking, then I am sorry but I am going to stay single whether tony and ugo like it or not.

Yeah.

Obviously tony is pissing me off. This is most recent comments to me.

your_band_sucks2003 (2:58:36 PM): school skipper
freshman_girl2003 (4:05:56 PM): do you honestly think Aunt Alice would let me skip and nothte other two?
your_band_sucks2003 (4:06:53 PM): maybe
freshman_girl2003 (4:07:18 PM): then you are dense
your_band_sucks2003 (4:07:46 PM): you're a stalker
freshman_girl2003 (4:07:56 PM): how
your_band_sucks2003 (4:08:22 PM): you're obsessed with ugo and won't leave him alone
freshman_girl2003 (4:09:02 PM): wtf
freshman_girl2003 (4:09:11 PM): you know what, tony?
freshman_girl2003 (4:09:16 PM): I HARDLY EVER TALK TO HIM
your_band_sucks2003 (4:09:17 PM): blow me
freshman_girl2003 (4:09:19 PM): go to hell
your_band_sucks2003 (4:09:24 PM): i'm playing a game
your_band_sucks2003 (4:09:29 PM): leave me alone
freshman_girl2003 (4:09:30 PM): I do not see him
freshman_girl2003 (4:10:11 PM): I can't even invite him, as well as some other assholes over to watch soem god damn ovies? That fucking sucks, because I ddin't even mean it in that manner
freshman_girl2003 (4:10:53 PM): get over yourself, fuck off, and leave me the fuck alone, because I don't want to have anything to do with your sorry ass. You are so shallow. And if Ugo has a problem tell him to tell it to my fucking face.
your_band_sucks2003 (4:11:27 PM): marie you retarded fucking cunt you keep talknig to me

his last post is a fucking lie, because I have had him on Iggy for the past week and a half, and he somehow managed to get back on my god damn friends' list. Urgh.

Oh well. I will ignore him some more. Maybe he will get teh hint eventually.

I am giving people a ride to an dfrom the bowling practice tomorrow. Yay. Not. More people. Ugo is amung them. Oh yay. Then there is Charlie Poissonier, Mark ANdrews, and Mark Schobel. Wee. Charlie is cool, but Mark is the one influencing bud to not talk to me anymore.- Not really. Just the things Mark said to me when me and BUd (ugo) were dating make me lean to that conclusion.

Oh well. I am gonna go.

By the way, those lyrics go to one of my all-time favorite songs. Thought I would be nice enough to share that.

bemusedmuse @ 2005-01-18T21:32:00

2005-01-19T02:33:11Z

"It's too bad, It's stupid
Too late, so wrong, so long
It's too bad that we had no time to rewind
Let's walk, let's talk
Let's talk

You left without saying goodbye
Although I'm sure you tried
You call the house from time to time
To make sure we're alive
But you weren't there
Right when I'm needed you the most
And now I dream about it
How it's so bad, it's so bad"

-Too Bad by Nickelback

This is a good song. Before I moved in with my father, I used to hate him, and whenever this song came on I would blare it. I used to hate him so much. Now I do not. But I am not that attached to him either. Hmm. It is that way with everybody I know, I guess.

Tony isn't taking the hint. He keeps popping up, talking to me. I will post what he has said tonight on the internet.

your_band_sucks2003 (9:01:59 PM): i'm making music
freshman_girl2003 (9:02:11 PM): yea yea good 4 u
your_band_sucks2003 (9:03:04 PM): yup
your_band_sucks2003 (9:03:16 PM): you seem grumpy?
freshman_girl2003 (9:04:41 PM): . . .
your_band_sucks2003 (9:05:01 PM): are you?
freshman_girl2003 (9:05:39 PM): hmm, I haven't really held a conversation with you since last tuesday, I don't call you, and you have been on ignore all this time
freshman_girl2003 (9:05:44 PM): what do you think
your_band_sucks2003 (9:06:56 PM): anh ok whatever floats your boat
your_band_sucks2003 (9:10:25 PM): want to see my song?
freshman_girl2003 (9:10:30 PM): . . .
your_band_sucks2003 (9:11:15 PM): it isn't lyrics it's tabs
freshman_girl2003 (9:11:30 PM): whatever tony
your_band_sucks2003 (9:14:20 PM): pretty snazy huh?
freshman_girl2003 (9:14:39 PM): ok cool whatever
your_band_sucks2003 (9:16:10 PM): ok

I dunno if he just can't recognise the unsubtle hints I gave him, or if he chooses to ignore my hints, but it is agitating. Oh well. Hopefully soon he will take the hint and leave me alone.

. . .duh . . .

2005-01-17T00:46:44Z

I am bored. Man, everybody is busy tomorrow. Ugo is going to the beach with his family, Abe is at his dad's, and Ben has a family get-together. So I am here all by myself- well, besides my relatives- my two younger cousins, my aunt, my uncle, and my grandfather. Wee. There is nothing to do. No new movies to watch, and no old ones that interest me that I have not seen over and over again, time after time. ::sigh::

I designed another animated picture. This one is of Johnny Depp in Finding Neverland. I want to go see that movie so much! :(( Oh well. I will buy it when it comes out if I have a job. I love Johnny Depp's acting, and him. Lol. And the movies. :D.

bemusedmuse @ 2005-01-16T13:38:00

2005-01-16T18:46:40Z

Hey, I have mastered the art of animation! Lol. Well, I am getting there anyway. I was tired of the same old same, and so I found these pictures, and figured out how to animate, and Voila! Instant pics animated. Lol.

I love Johnny Depp. I wouldn't be surprised if I made a web page out of all the pics I have designed, and you find alot of Johnny Depp pictures. I love his acting, and his very long and wild hair in Pirates of the Caribbean. He is SO dreamy. Lol. But I have a plan to collect all the movies starring him in it.

I am out to get a job in the really near future. I need to get a job in order to get my license, because I need my license before I go to college, because I want ot go out of state, and I do not want anybody to drive me down. Plus, I need a job to pay for insurance, and gas, and to save up for college and the Europe Trip Mr. Gram is going to have again in two years. So I am trying to get a job at Pinkham's- a corner grocery store at the end of my road.

Wish me luck.

bemusedmuse @ 2005-01-11T20:09:00

2005-01-12T01:10:34Z

"I'm looking in the mirror at this woman down and out
She's internally dying and knew this was not what love's about
I don't want to be this woman the second time around
'Cause I'm waking up screaming
No longer believing
That I'm going to be around"

-Rain on Me by Ashanti

Okay, I think I am starting to feel better. I know what I want, and I know what I need to do to make myself feel happy. So I will tell you my evil master plan. Wha ha ha ha. Lol.

1.) Tony. This guy used to be my friend, but nowadays I cannot stand him. I dunno if it is me or him (probably me) but he makes me feel minute. And I don't WANT to feel minute. So I will no longer talk or hang out with him, nor listen to him when he insults me, for i do that enough, I do not need to listen to him.

2.) I know what I want to do in the near future. I want to go to a college in Boston, Massachusettes, and I want take a double major, either in journalism or creative writing, and also in either French or Italian. I have always been in awe of the Italians, so I wish to learn about them and learn their language. But I also want to continue with my French when I get out of Mr. Gram's classes. So that is the next step- figuring out which of those four classes interest me the most. I know I want some kind of writing class, and I also know I want to take a foreign language, so those will be decided soon.

3.) I will stop concentrating on guys. I used to believe that I would wait and find some outragiously sweet romantic foreign guy with a lot of dark luxurious hair on his head and an enchanting voice. Maybe I need to wait a while and see what fate brings me. It is not like I need a guy to make my life complete. So I just need to bide my time.

Just concentrating on these three things have kept me happy for the day, so maybe it will work. Who knows? But it is better than moping around, for I know that there are a lot of people out there who have it worse in life than I do, and I need to be thankful for the things I have.

So yeah. That is my daily post.

Later Dayz.

bemusedmuse @ 2005-01-09T18:46:00

2005-01-09T23:57:07Z

Hello, I have just returned home from a day with my aunt, running errands. Not as bad as it seems, because it gets me out of the house and my aunt is awesome to talk to. We went to Waterville, and then to Augusta, where we went to *gasp* Barns and Nobles! Yay! My all time favorite store (even if I cannot spell the store's name properly).

Well, while I was at Barns and Nobles, I bought Wit'ch FIre, which I have been meaning to buy for a long time. Unfortunately, I cannot read it, for I am in the middle of Magic's Pawn by Mercedes Lackey, and then I am to read Angels and Demons by Dan Brown. Wee. Not that I do not love to read. It is my only ticket out of reality. So I will have plenty of reading that I wish to do- I will not be bored as long as I have books. Lol.

Later Dayz

bemusedmuse @ 2005-01-08T16:44:00

2005-01-08T21:50:03Z

I am gonna try something new. Adding humor to my site. That is a scary thought, for i have no sense of humor unless somebody else is telling the joke. But I will try. Maybe I will just tell a story about something funny. Yes, this is what I will do.

My little cousins, Charlie and Jess, were being taken to the Portland Mall or the Bangor Mall by my aunt. My aunt takes them to Toys R Us, and CHarlie sees this stuffed animal of Stitch (you know, the lil blue alien thing that can hardly speak english, so goes, "Ehgh, . . . Hiiiii." all the time? Yeah, that stitch). And the stuffed animal speaks when you push this button. So Charlie presses the button, and the stitch thing goes, "Ehgh, hiiii," or " I love you" or some shit like that. So my cousin Jess decides she wants one and pushes the button. It says, "Your evil". Whenever she pushes the button, it says this. So she doesn't want one anymore and runs off.

I nearly shit my pants laughing when my aunt told me the story.

So yeah, this is my little entry of humor. You will probably not find it funny, but if you heard it aloud, you would.

Peace out.

bemusedmuse @ 2005-01-07T21:31:00

2005-01-08T02:37:10Z

"Darker days seem to be
What will always live in me
But still I run
It’s hard to walk this path alone
Hard to know which way to go
Will I ever save this day
Will it ever change"

-"Open Your Eyes" by Alter Bridge

Yeah yeah it has been a while since I have updated this journal of mine. I have had a lot on my mind. Or I haven't, for I have had my nose stuck in a book for a while now, and when I read, I forget to think. Which is good, for when I think, it is only negative thoughts all about on ething. And I would rather not think of that anymore. So I welcome the books.

Right now I am reading Magic's Pawn by Mercedes Lackey. It is a really good book, once you get into it a little farther than the first chapter. Lackey is a really good writer. The main character, Vanyel, is hated at home, and refuses to attend his swordsmen lessons, so is shipped off to his aunt, who teaches those who have magic, and he is to learn what he didn't want to learn at home, but enjoys it here, for the teachers recognize his needs. And he meets his aunt's students, one whom happens to be a homosexual. After meeting 'Lendel ( the homosexual), Vanyel realizes that he is homosexual also, and they end up getting togehter. That is an outline. You really have to read it in order to get hte meat of the story out of it.

Ok, so I get to spend another boring weekend at home. I guess I was right- my friends were my ex's friends, and now they give me the cold shoulder. And my friends from Central weren't my friends in the first place, for they insult me now. Wee, how fun. Sometimes I envy those who have really close friends. You know, friends they have gone to school with their entire life. I have never had that. My best friend from Kingfield, Stephanie- oh geesh, I haven't heard from her since I was 7. And I am 16 now. So 9 years. Yeah. And that was my mother's fault, for her parents didn't want their daughter around an arson's daughter. . . She was the only one that liked me past the diabetes,a nd POOF! She is gone. So for all of you guys who take for granted having friends, suck it up and appreciate them.

So past this, . . . what is there to talk about? I guess nothing really. See you later.

bemusedmuse @ 2005-01-03T21:31:00

2005-01-04T02:45:40Z

"run, desire, run this sexual being
run him like a blade to & through the heart
no conscience, one motive...
to cater to the hollow.
screaming
feed me, fill me up again.
temporarily pacify this hungering.
so, grow, libido, throw dominoes of
indiscretions down.
falling all around in cycles/circles.
constantly consuming.
conquer and devour."

- The Hollow, by A Perfect Circle

Fucking damnit. Sorry. I thought I had gotten over this fear of her. Yes. My mother. But no. I haven't. I talked to one of her friends today. She has friends? That's unusual, for her personality. But anyway. I talked to one of her friends in Shop n' Save (excuse me, Hannaford) and she kept asking me why I moved out, where was I? When I explained to her that I moved out, and that I lived with my aunt, she kept asking why. So I told her. "My mother and I do not get along. And DHS said I could not live there. So they moved me up to my aunt's." - Which is not a lie. Me and my mother DON'T get along- mainly because she feels it is right to beat me so I have welts on my back, and break down my door, and force me to do things that she wants me to do instead of me doing something equally good for me, just not what she wants(AKA she wanted me to continue karate, and I wanted to start a job working with horses, so I could continue my horse back riding lessons). She set the police on me the day I ran away. Called me a lying little bitch in front of tons of people in a court room. She lied to me about leaving the state for good, and came back one day when I was at school, and starts to boss me around. She didn't even have custody of me. Then she tells her friends nothing of what happened, just that she's "strict but honestly a nice person".

Sorry, but my mother scares me. I cannot go back there, and if I ever have to, I will run. I feel badly for thrusting my problems on my relatives, but I really didn't have a choice- DHS placed me here- until I graduate high school anyway. Then I will not interfere with them. My mom is abusive and bipolar. I know I am not the best person to judge her, but I know her better than most people.

And what business is it of her friends what goes on between my mother and I? No, it isn't her business, and it makes my blood run cold when somebody tells me something they think they know better than I when they are blind. Scares teh shit out of me when people do that.

bemusedmuse @ 2004-12-31T13:25:00

2004-12-31T18:25:10Z

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Skippy
2. Maria
3. Marie

THREE SCREEN NAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. Rheah
2. Raine
3. Andree

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. creativity
2. intelligence
3. determination

THREE THINGS YOU HATE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Dishonesty
2. Stubbornness
3. Disrespectful towards self

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. French
2. German
3. Indian

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. Being alone
2. Close spaces/loud noises/big crowds
3. Being a nobody

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Internet.
2. Music
3. Books

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. Fussy black slippers
2. Old blue jeans
3. Light pink long sleeve shirt

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE BANDS OR ARTISTS:
1. Bon Jovi
2. Goo Goo Dolls
3. Green Day

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE SONGS AT PRESENT:

1. "Breathing" by Lifehouse
2. "Boulevard of Broken Dreams" by Green Day
3. "Look What You've Done" by Jet

THREE NEW THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT 12 MONTHS:
1. PLaying a guitar
2. Acting
3. Lifting 180 pounds on bench press

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP (love is a given):
1. Comfort
2. Understanding
3. Someone with a freaking brain

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. I live with my aunt
2. I love rap music
3. I am single

THREE THINGS THAT APPEAL TO YOU ABOUT A PERSON:
1. Humor
2. Intelligence
3. Listening skills

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN’T DO:
1. Diet
2. Be out in the cold
3. Math

THREE OF YOUR FAVOURITE HOBBIES:
1. PLaying musical instruments
2. Writing
3. Listening to music

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Get a guitar
2. Go to a concert
3. Go shopping

THREE CAREERS YOU’RE CONSIDERING:
1. Writer
2. Journalist
3. Singer

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. London, England
2. Paris, France
3. Rome, Italy

THREE KIDS NAMES:
1. Tobey
2. Jackie
3. Anthony

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. Travel around the world
2. Get married
3. Write a book

bemusedmuse @ 2004-12-29T22:46:00

2004-12-30T04:00:13Z

Okay . . . I now hate colds. Not that I didn't before, but I cannot get the itchy feeling out of my head, nor the pressure that is around my nose and eyes. Feels like all I want to do is sleep, to escape the pain, but I don't want to sleep at the same time.

I hate online guys. Talk to them for five minutes, and the next time you talk to them, it's "DId you miss me any?" - No, I don't miss you any- I barely know you, you bastard. What the hell?! Are they that desperate that they need to hit on or develope a crush on an online girl who could be for all they know some 80 year old fat hag. Geesh.

So. How was your day, folks? Lol.

Jessie was sick today. Not that she was the only one, but she stayed in her room most of the time . . . wait- where is the difference? Lol. No, she truly was sick, and couldn't go to the movies with the rest of the gang. She had to miss out on National Treasure. Poor lass, she missed out on an awesome movie- I hope she feels better by tomorrow- nothing special happening, just thought it would be nice if she felt better. Yet she refuses to take pills for her sickness- good for her. Pills are the trap of the money and power hungry government- more power to her, if she can avoid pills.

I myself had just gotten over really high ketones- Diabetic stuff, folks. I felt like I was gonna throw up everywhere, and was having chill spells, and was dizzy, and urgh- it is just not a happy feeling. I lowered my blood sugar and ketone levels enough to be able to go to the movies, but just barely. Be thankful you all are healthy- or most of you. Beleve me, having diabetes is noooo fun.

So yeah. National Treasure was a hilarious movie, but it was also educational, and full of some kind of action. The main character gets the chick, the side kick of the main character provides the comic relief, the partner of the main character is a back stabbing, gold lusting bastard, and the leader of the FBI is secretly in league with the main character, though they need somebody to go to jail, and try to pin that job on the main character. Yeah. So if you do not manage to go to the theatres to see National Treasure, go out and rent it when it comes out on DVD or VHS- or better yet, buy it!

bemusedmuse @ 2004-12-28T19:51:00

2004-12-29T00:52:33Z

Ok, after an hour and a half of playing with the set up of this site, I have concluded with . . . a piece of art? I think not. I will play with it more later. I am tired of looking at the site right now.

bemusedmuse @ 2004-12-28T18:27:00

2004-12-28T23:28:32Z

"I feel like
I've lost everything when your gone
Left remembering what its like
To have you here with me"

- Matchbook Romance

Yay. Hmm. What to write that isn't about him. . . My nose is stuffy. My ear won't pop. My new class ring is *gasp* SHINY!! *Looks down at herself* Wow. I just noticed that this jacket is his . . . I should take it off . . . but it is just so WARMMMM! Hee Hee. So I will wear it. The white german shepherd is roasting my feet.

So there. Random stuff. Fun? I think not. Ah, but alas, that is what people are looking for. Me moving on. Leaving him alone. Finding myself. Finding some other poor lad to obsess over. If that is even the right word. Is it? To some, yes. To others, no. I should draw my own line. But what would fit the line that I draw, hmm? I have all these peoples' opinions spinning round my head- what is my own opinion? What do I see in myself, and my emotions, and my fears/worries?

I'll get back to you on that. Eventually.

bemusedmuse @ 2004-12-28T17:47:00

2004-12-28T22:47:37Z

Just to make it known- I so love kids. *coughnotcough*

bemusedmuse @ 2004-12-27T11:59:00

2004-12-27T17:01:35Z

A stranger,
Somebody I don't know,
Approached me,
Spoke to me
Out of curiousity,
Made me feel
Important
Instead of irrelevant.
In a matter of seconds
Instead of running
Away from me-
He befriended me-
Thanks.
- By Bern

I made a new friend, and he is sweet.

bemusedmuse @ 2004-12-23T20:36:00

2004-12-24T01:38:43Z

Here is a poem I wrote for a friend when he was having trouble gettin over his girlfriend. I hope you like it.

There's a time in our lives
When we lose the one we love.
They told us that it was over,
Then they took off like a dove.
We cry, we cry, we beg to the sky,
Asking for them to return.
But in the end, our heart's the cost-
The sadness inside- it burns.

The second stage of the event
Is where our friends come in.
They hold us, and comfort us,
Just like we were thier kin.
We begin to understand them,
That they will always be there.
They are essential to our life-
To us, they are like our air.

After a while, we begin to live again,
We do the things we love to do.
Our grief our love caused us died down,
Our sad moments begin to be few.
We go on with our wonderful lives,
We begin to give love a second try.
We understand we can be a person
Without them- we don't ask why.

So please, get on with your life,
Continue doing things you love.
Be yourself, don't change your life
For those who fly like doves.
Remember who was there for you,
Remember that they care.
For when you're in another jam,
We'll always be right there.

bemusedmuse @ 2004-12-17T17:58:00

2004-12-17T23:00:06Z

Hey this poem is not finished, but tell me what you think please. I might turn them into song lyrics.

I am shaking,
I am quaking in my shoes,
from all the time not spent with you.
We used to hang around and talk
about all the things we could have thought.
We used to kiss and hug and smile-
we thought our love would last a while.
But I was blind and did not see
just how wonderful you were to me.
Now I am alone in this room,
with the glow of blue as my company,
and I type away my thoughts and dreams,
as the world becomes one untold blur.

And I cry . . .

Look at my face,
can't you see the tears falling,
forming a puddle at my bare feet?
Can’t you look me in the eyes
And say what you feel,
For I know you feel what you do.
Just put me away,
Take my misery and my pain.
Because . . .
Without you . . .
I can feel my life begin to wane.

bemusedmuse @ 2004-12-15T20:58:00

2004-12-16T02:02:41Z

"And I’d give up forever to touch you
’cause I know that you feel me somehow
You’re the closest to heaven that i’ll
Ever be
And I don’t want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment
And all I can breathe is your life
’cause sooner or later it’s over
I just don’t want to miss you tonight

And I don’t want the world to see me
’cause I don’t think that they’d
Understand
When everything’s made to be broken
I just want you to know who I am"

Goo Goo Dolls- Iris

This is a good time to try to think of something else besides my ex. yes, I am trying, so stop pestering me. Lol. Anyway. Tomorrow is the big day- teh day of my first bowling meet. Hopefully I do good. Then again, I need a lot of practice. But I am fairly good.

Also, I am working on a new book. So far, I have like one and a half thousand words on it, but in a novel, that is not much. Hopefully I can stick with this one. When the first chapter is done, I will post it and let you guys make up your opinions on it. Besides, it is the viewers' opinions that are gonna matter. But I also have to be true to my imagination. So maybe I will use your advise, and maybe I won't. Oh well. That is who I am.

Another thing. YAY! My hair is FINALLY getting longer. It is a blessing, it really is. See, when I get mad, I take my anger out on my hair instead of other people, so my hair has been cut three times, lightened and died twice, and mybangs cut in the past year. Yeah. And all done by moi. Not that it looks like shit- I cut it well. It is just I CANNOT STAND MY SHORT HAIR!!!! It is forever in my face, and I am always brushing it away. So yeah. And right now it is two toned. Urgh. Stupid chick obsession. Once it is long enough, I will cut the unnatual hair color off, and never touch my hair again.

I am finally figuring out who I am. Slowly but surely. When I can putit into words, I will tell you who I am. Other htan that, you are shit out of luck.

Ok, enough in one post. See you later.

bemusedmuse @ 2004-12-15T16:56:00

2004-12-15T21:56:30Z

Ten bands/artists you couldn't live without:
[1] Bon Jovi
[2] Jet
[3] Lynyrd Skynyrd
[4] Maroon 5
[5] Carbonleaf
[6] Green Day
[7] Goo Goo Dolls
[8] Eric Clapton
[9] Phil Collins
[10] 3 Doors Down

Nine albums that are important to you:
[1] Bon Jovi- Slippery When Wet
[2] Evanescence- Fallen
[3] Jet- Get Born
[4] Carbon Leaf- Indian Summer
[5] Green Day- American Idiot
[6] Keane- Hopes and Fears
[7] Linkin Park- Meteora
[8] Metallica- Metallica
[9] Third Eye Blind- Third Eye Blind

Eight movies you'd watch over and over:
[1] Pirates of the Caribbean
[2] Van Helsing
[3] Dracula 2000
[4] Blade (1&2&3)
[5] Harry Potter 3
[6] Spider-man (1&2)
[7] Lord of the rings (1&2&3)
[8] Euro-Trip

Seven things that annoy you:
[1] Lies
[2] Mean People
[3] Rap music
[4] Jocks
[5] Headaches
[6] Noise
[7] people interrupting you when you are talking

Ten of your favorite songs(currently)(not in order)
[1] Garth Brooks- The Dance
[2] Def Leppard- Pour Some Sugar on Me
[3] Eric Clapton- Tears in Heaven
[4] Led Zeppelin- Stairway to Heaven
[5] The Who- Behind Blue Eyes
[6] Goo Goo Dolls- Iris
[7] Lynyrd Skynyrd- What’s Your Name
[8] The Calling- Wherever You Will Go
[9] Nelly f/ Tim McGraw- Over and Over
[10] Bon Jovi- Never Say Good-bye

Five TV shows you watch regularly:
[1] Buffy The Vampire Slayer
[2] Angel
[3] Charmed
[4] Inuyasha
[5] Wolf’s Rain

Four of your all-time-favorite books:
[1] Harry Potter 5
[2] Lord of the Rings 2
[3] Anne Rice’s Vittorio the Vampire
[4] To Kill A Mockingbird

Three albums you've bought recently:

[1] Evenescence- Fallen
[2] Bon Jovi- Slippery When Wet
[3] Maroon 5- Songs About Jane

Two Artists you would like to do the NASTY with:
[1] Enrique Iglecias
[2] John Bon Jovi

One band whose music would be described as writing the soundtrack of your life
[1] Evenescence

Content

2004-12-11T03:17:40Z

"Stranger than your sympathy
This is my apology
I'm killing myself from the inside out
All my fears have pushed you out"

-Sympathy by Goo Goo Dolls

Okay, to introduce you to my site. Well, basically, this is a site for poetry and lyrics. I will tell you about me through that, I will tell you how I feel through that, and if I can not explain my day through poetry and lyrics, then I will just plain out tell you. If you have any type of lyrics or poetry that you are interested in seeing on here, just leave me a message, and I will try to put it on here. If you want rap lyrics, well, I dunno if that will get on here- depends on the lyrics. Other than that, if you need advise with anything, you can PM me and I will leave you a message- check this site daily!!!!

bemusedmuse @ 2004-12-06T16:20:00

2004-12-06T21:21:26Z

Babe I'm sorry but I just can't stand the pain
If you're leaving baby,
Let me say one last thing
You tell me I don't care
But you know it just ain't true
I got news
That I'm still in love with you

Girl, haven't you been around me
Long enough to know
Oh, that I need your love
And I won't let go

Oh, you don't have to be cruel to be kind
You break my heart you hurt me so
Kick me out because I ain't leaving
Oh, you don't have to be cruel to be kind
I'm feeling that you got me wrong
All I want is you back where you belong

Yeah, yeah, yeah

Forget about the things
That we could and should have done
'Cause it's not too late, no no
Ain't the best still yet to come
What we have is a chance to start over
And make it anew
So trust what you feel
Don't hide from what's real
Every word I say is real

Girl, haven't I told you this a thousand times before
Oh, that I don't want you going through that door

No contest
(I'm telling you yeah)
No question
('Cause I need you)
Believe me, I ain't leaving
No contest
(I'm telling you girl)
No question
('Cause I need you, yeah)
Believe me, I ain't leaving

You don't have to be cruel to be kind
You break my heart you hurt me so
Kick me out because I ain't leaving
Oh, why must you be cruel to be kind
I'm feeling that you got me wrong
All I want is you back yeah yeah

Baby don't do the things you do
Baby don't hurt me like you do
Baby don't hurt me, hurt me

Don't go..........